September 2011
9 posts
4 tags
seems like i rely too hard on a dream
“… but i don’t believe in curses. life is full of ups and downs. there have been some extremes in my life’s case but, considering that i had no plan, and very little of the kind of self-esteem you need to get by in this world, things could be worse. i’m just wandering through here, seeing what happens.
i don’t know what happens when you die and i don’t...
who will love you? who will fight?
so i just realized that for whatever reason, i have a couple posts here about my father, but i don’t talk about my mother. maybe because i look at my relationship with my father to try to understand my relationships with men in general. i don’t know.
in any case, my relationship with my mother has always been intense, in a different way than with my pa. i’m like my mother in...
a boy instead of a man The subjective image of your father portrayed in your birth horoscope is a bright and exciting one. But it is also an ambivalent one, because this image embodies a quality of eternal youth. Perhaps your father was a glamourous or mythic figure to you in childhood, and from him you have inherited a sense of life’s adventure and mystery. But at the same time, this is...
2 tags
“nothing is done entirely for nothing. nothing is wasted. you are older, and you have made decisions, and you are not the fox you were yesterday. take what you have learned and move on.”
neil gaiman
“if you stand too close to a painting - all you see are patches of color, if you stand too far back, you can’t see any of the detail. right now this is your particular perspective and if you ask me—”
“i’m a little too close.”
september is a hard month. i don’t know why. i remember it being shitty last year, even worse, actually.
the only good thing...
unwinnable by mistake
i’ve heard that one of the signs of insanity is seeing signs everywhere, in everything. i have never been technically insane, but it’s easy to want to believe that something is giving you a divine message, that something is meant to happen. i guess we all do it to some degree. often it is delusion.
i despise this new job so far. it’s not going to last, i can tell you now....
2 tags
and i kept standing 6'1", instead of 5'2", and i...
“so if you think that this is going to save you…
if you think anything is going to save you…
consider this your last warning.”
chuck palahniuk
suddenly i can see blue skies again, beauty says...
so, i’m starting the new job tomorrow. it’s a mixed bag. i took it out of necessity. if i waited any longer, i would be left with nothing. and i would be hating myself. but this decision wasn’t easy. i think it broke another part off my old heart. i’ve stayed at places before because of a guy when i should have left. it was always a mistake, just a fucking calamity.
...
1 tag
maybe there's no use in things being like they...
“in what would become a pattern for chan throughout her life, she looked at her circumstances, gathered strength she didn’t even know she had, severed ties with almost everyone she knew as if she were amputating a gangrened limb, and moved away.”
cat power, a good woman by elizabeth goodman
