April 2012
101 posts
“Sorrow comes in great waves—no one can know that better than you—but it rolls over us, and though it may almost smother us it leaves us on the spot and we know that if it is strong we are stronger, inasmuch as it passes and we remain.”
—Henry James, from a letter to Grace Norton, dated 28 July 1883
(via litverv and Letters of Note)
(via litverv and Letters of Note)
March 2012
70 posts
“for business reasons, i must preserve the outward signs of sanity.”
—mark twain
when i started out the day, i did not think i would have to send someone a text message saying:
“hey, sorry bout pretending to stab you. i do not believe that you deserve to be stabbed. i had about 4 hours of sleep. that was nuts.”
ugh. b came back when i was leaving a message for rachel, and i had just been dealing with the experience of this new lindsey chick. i have known her for two days now and i kind of dread her existence in my life already. she is tall and thin and blonde, and while she responds to any attempt on my part in conversation with a 2 word max. reply, she is every guy’s new best friend.
anyway, i was tired and surprised to see him, and may have gotten slightly irritated when he decided to hang around. my crazy mind may have decided to pretend to jab him with a pen gently in encouragement to leave. he saw it as me attempting to “stab” him. he was surprised/offended and i may have told him that he had it coming.
so… that happened. i don’t know why i’m allowed out amongst people anymore. he seemed to think it was funny afterwards, but i am a disaster.
“i haven’t the slightest idea how to change people, but i still keep a long list of prospective candidates just in case i should ever figure it out.”
—david sedaris
i got a perfect score on that pain-in-the-ass observation paper. i certainly did not expect that, and i squealed a little when i saw the grade.
i have to say, as time consuming and stressful as a class can be, i am glad i’m doing this for many reasons. it’s fulfilling in the way that i know that i can control it - if i work at it and get shit done, it pays off well.
i can’t control much of what happens at work, since i’m dealing with people/customers, and i’m at their mercy most of the time. i can’t control much of my personal life, what with people having free will and all that other bullshit. but i can have some control with class work, and i don’t feel as close to a nervous breakdown as usual.
i am truly planning to go into that tattoo place tomorrow. of course, not to get anything done, because you need an appointment and that sometimes will end up being 3 months in the future. but i need to go in there - by myself - to know that i can do it. i will regret chickening out.
speaking of regret,
i have to write a 5 page research paper on genetic testing. plus, another observation paper, and a quiz are coming up quick.
i have not yet received word from rachel on my schedule this week, which is causing my anxiety to start twitching in the back of my mind.
i am a bundle of nerves, and my father is not helping. no, i never worry about money on my own. i need someone to remind me.
“
Over the last 48 hours, there has been a sustained effort to smear Trayvon Martin, the 17-year old African-American who was shot dead by George Zimmerman a month ago. Martin’s mother, Sybrina Fulton, said, “They killed my son, now they’re trying to kill his reputation.”
Thus far these attacks have fallen into two categories: false and irrelevant. Much of this leaked information seems intended to play into stereotypes about young African-American males. Here’s what everyone should know:
1. Prominent conservative websites published fake photos of Martin. Twitchy, a new website run by prominent conservative blogger Michelle Malkin, promoted a photo — purportedly from Martin’s Facebook page — that shows Martin in saggy pants and flipping the bird. The photo, which spread quickly on conservative websites and Twitter, is intended to paint Martin as a thug. As Twitchy later acknowledged, it is not a photo of Trayvon Martin. [Examiner]
2. The Sanford Police selectively leaked irrelevant, negative information about Martin. The authorities told the Orlando Sentinel this morning that Trayvon was suspended from school for ten days “after being found with an empty marijuana baggie.” There is no evidence that Martin was under the influence of drugs at the time of his death, nor would prior possession of marijuana be a reason for killing him. It’s unclear what the relevance of the leak was, other than to smear Martin. [Orlando Sentinel]
3. On Fox News, Geraldo said that Martin was dressed “like a wannabe gangster.” Bill O’Reilly agreed with him. The sole evidence is that Martin was wearing a hoodie. Geraldo added that “everyone that ever stuck up a convenience store” was wearing a hoodie. [ThinkProgress; The Blaze]
4. Without any evidence, prominent right-wing bloggers suggested that Martin was a drug dealer. Right-wing blogger Dan Riehl advances the theory, also advanced in a widely linked peice on a site called Wagist. There does not appear to be any evidence to support this claim whatsoever. [Riehl World View]
5. Without any evidence, a right-wing columnist alleged that Martin assaulted a bus driver. Unlike Zimmerman, Trayvon has no documented history of violence. This allegation continues to be advanced by a blogger on the Examiner even after the real reason was leaked to the police and confirmed by the family. [Miami Herald; Examiner]
6. Zimmerman’s friend says Martin was to blame because he was disrespectful to Zimmerman. Zimmerman’s friend Joe Oliver said that Martin would not have been shot to death if Trayvon had just said “I’m staying with my parents.” Of course, Zimmerman was not a police officer, and Trayvon had no duty to tell him who he was or where he was going. [NBC News]
” —Judd Legum, “What Everyone Needs To Know About the Smear Campaign Against Trayvon Martin,” Think Progress, 3/26/12 (via racialicious)
“…but like for instance where do you look with your eyes when you tell somebody you like them and mean what you say? You can’t look right at them, because then what if their eyes look at you as you’re saying it, and then there’d be some awful like voltage or energy there, hanging between you. But you can’t look away like you’re nervous, like some nervous kid asking for a date or something. You can’t go around giving that kind of thing of yourself away.”
—David Foster Wallace, Infinite Jest (via frood)
Sweet Jane (full length version)
The Velvet Underground
“sweet jane”, velvet underground.
i love listening to this in the car. it makes me happy anywhere, but it’s wonderful to sing along to in the car.
“i took a deep breath and listened to the old bray of my heart. i am. i am. i am.”
—sylvia plath
yesterday we had a conversation about how we became friends after all the weirdness. i was smiling for awhile despite myself.
then i heard that the wedding date is in may, which makes sense since his birthday is the 13th and her’s is the 9th. hilariously, mine is the 3rd.
if that isn’t punch-you-in-the-solar-plexus fantastic, i don’t know what is. jen still wants to get a tattoo together. i think i know the date now.
“we all hustle and grind,
any system against us is against the divine.
but there’s no sense of glory in repenting,
and repeating,
their mistakes.
you have a greater calling.
answering it is all it takes.
take a second to hear this
and go back about your day.
know that laws don’t govern us,
we’re governed by what we say.
what we think, why we think it, how we handle.
place no blame, point no fingers, take your aim.
shoot to kill. the bullshit.” —saul williams
any system against us is against the divine.
but there’s no sense of glory in repenting,
and repeating,
their mistakes.
you have a greater calling.
answering it is all it takes.
take a second to hear this
and go back about your day.
know that laws don’t govern us,
we’re governed by what we say.
what we think, why we think it, how we handle.
place no blame, point no fingers, take your aim.
shoot to kill. the bullshit.” —saul williams
