i guess i should be relieved to realize my overemotional state and high level of stress has to at least partly come from being in a hormonal time.

it does explain why i was so invested in that episode of gossip girl last night. i always related to blair and her rampant insanity, but never much cared for dan. it was odd to find myself squeeing like a 15 year old over a show i watch once every three months.

on a possibly unrelated note, i am out of gum. ever since i was little, i was an enthusiastic gum chewer. actually i was just an enthusiastic chewer - i would gnaw on anything, for god knows what reason. barbie doll legs were a satisfying chew and earned the extra benefit of disturbing my sister. i left teeth marks on the coffee table corners. then when i wore glasses, i gnarled up the ear pieces. i had plans at one time to get a hold of my sister’s pair once i’d destroyed mine - not out of malice… maybe slight mischief, but more compulsion. pencils and pens always ended up in my mouth. i have a strong knowledge of what ink tastes like thanks to all the pens that exploded in my mouth. gum became helpful with my odd tendencies. (i was a weird kid. this is only one example of it.)

after i quit smoking last year, i started going through at least one pack of gum a day. preferably peppermint. and i have none when i am more moody than usual tonight. pens are not cutting it. i have chewed my lip for awhile now and there is a faint taste of blood. i feel a little bit weird about the idea of running to 7-11 just for gum at 10 tonight, but there aren’t many options here.